👨‍👩‍👦 Biblical disciplining of children

For thousands of years, Christians who have upheld the Bible as the infallible Word of God have relied on its wisdom and instructions for raising children in the home. Proverbs 13:24 declares, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Because the underlying Hebrew grammar lacks a future tense, the verse can also be rendered as, “He who spares his rod will come to hate his son.” This rendering, fully consistent with the original Hebrew, highlights the causal relationship between a failure to discipline and the eventual anger and hatred that develop in the parent. Discipline, when administered lovingly and consistently, safeguards both the parent and the child from devastating spiritual and emotional consequences.

On the propitiatory function of physical discipline

In ancient times, the concept of propitiation—the appeasement of anger—was well understood. Paul describes Christ’s sacrifice as the ultimate propitiation (Romans 3:25), satisfying the divine anger that resulted from human sin. Similarly, sin within familial relationships, particularly disobedience from children, provokes anger in parents, whether consciously acknowledged or not. This anger, if left unchecked, accumulates like a poison over months and years, creating bitterness and alienation. Proverbs 13:24 offers a divine antidote: discipline.

Biblical discipline, particularly the use of the rod, is not an act of anger but of preemptive love. Parents who discipline their children promptly and appropriately neutralize the buildup of anger. Striking a child in anger is explicitly condemned; instead, godly correction should occur before emotions escalate. Parents who heed this command will find that they are not plagued by the resentment and bitterness that accumulates in those who reject God’s wisdom. In contrast, modern “discipline” methods—timeouts or grounding children while allowing them to indulge in distractions like video games—fail to address the heart of the issue. Meanwhile, the parents’ unresolved anger often manifests as verbal abuse, inflicting deeper emotional wounds.

History of Church’s rejection of the Bible and the consequences

The rejection of physical discipline has roots in Enlightenment-era humanism. Thinkers like Rousseau, with their atheistic and anti-Biblical agendas, left their indelible marks on child psychology in the 19th century. Tragically, the Western Church was successfully swayed by this humanist ideology during the 20th century, choosing to heed the worldly wisdom over God’s clear instruction. The feminization of both society and the Church meant that the idea of corporal punishment for our children seemed barbaric and totally unfit for the sophistication of the modern world. Through sheer human pride, the Church collectively declared: “We know better than the Bible.” As a result, parents started raising a generation of children without the rod, with catastrophic consequences.

Within two generations, British church attendance plummeted from over 90% to less than 5%. Christian parents, following the advice of humanist academia instead of Scripture, failed to pass on their faith to the next generation. Beyond the spiritual collapse, society is now reaping a harvest of unprecedented psychological and emotional dysfunction. Children raised without proper discipline and exposed to unspoken anger of their parents, grow up to wreak havoc in society and get married only to perpetuate cycles of unresolved emotional brokenness into the next generation.

How to do disciplining and conclusion

The Bible is clear regarding the intensity and purpose of discipline. Proverbs 23:13-14 prescribes corporal punishment with a high enough intensity to cause a fear of death in the child: “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.” Such correction may seem harsh to our 21st century Western sensibilities, but the Bible clearly states that it is not abusive but redemptive, aimed at saving the child’s soul from certain destruction.

The modern consensus on child-rearing, rooted in rebellion against God’s Word, must be rejected. The Church must boldly return to Scripture, spitting in the face of worldly wisdom and proclaiming the authority of God. Biblical discipline, grounded in love and obedience to God, is vital for the spiritual and emotional well-being of both parent and child. Let us heed His wisdom and honour Him in all things, for His Word is always true.

자녀를 훈계하라 – 잠언 13장 24절

잠언 13장 24절은 이렇게 말합니다:

매를 아끼는 자는 그의 자식을 미워하나, 자식을 사랑하는 자는 부지런히 그를 징계하느니라.

히브리어 문법에 미래 시제가 없다는 점을 감안하면, 이 구절은 이렇게도 번역할 수 있습니다:

매를 아끼는 자는 결국 그의 자식을 미워하게 될 것이다.

이 번역은 자녀를 훈계하지 않는 것이 결국 부모의 분노와 미움으로 이어진다는 인과관계를 더 분명히 보여줍니다. 사랑으로 행하는 훈계는 부모와 자녀 모두를 보호합니다.

죄는 분노를 낳습니다. 하나님께서 우리 죄에 대해 의로우신 분노를 가지시듯이, 부모도 자녀의 불순종으로 인해 분노와 쓰라림이 쌓이게 됩니다. 부모가 이를 인정하지 않더라도, 해결되지 않은 분노는 결국 관계를 망칩니다. 성경적인 훈계는 이를 예방하는 하나님의 처방입니다. 부모는 분노하기 전에 자녀를 징계해야 하며, 이것이야말로 성경이 가르치는 매의 목적입니다.

그러나 현대 사회는 이를 거부했습니다. 19세기 계몽주의는 인간의 지혜를 성경보다 우위에 두었고, 20세기에 교회마저 세상의 심리학을 따르며 하나님의 말씀을 외면했습니다. 그 결과 부모들은 자녀를 성경적으로 훈계하지 않았고, 한 세대 만에 서구의 교회 출석률은 급감했습니다. 자녀들은 부모의 억눌린 분노에 노출되었고, 이것은 세대를 거듭하며 심각한 심리적 문제를 낳았습니다.

성경은 훈계의 강도와 목적도 명확히 가르칩니다. 잠언 23장 13-14절은 이렇게 말합니다:

아이를 훈계할 때에는 그 아이가 ‘이 매로 내가 죽을 수 있겠다’ 생각하게 할 만큼의 강도로 하라. 채찍으로 그를 때릴지라도 그가 죽지 아니하리라. 아니, 오히려 네가 그를 이렇게 징계하면 그의 영혼을 멸망에서 구원할것이다.

올바른 훈계는 자녀의 영혼을 살리는 사랑의 행위입니다.

우리는 세상의 거짓된 지혜를 거부하고, 하나님의 말씀으로 돌아가야 합니다. 성경이 옳습니다. 하나님이 항상 옳습니다. 자녀를 훈계하라는 하나님의 명령을 따릅시다. 이 길만이 부모와 자녀 모두를 살리는 길입니다.